⚓️ No More Docking Drama

Ever heard of the "sailor's spaghetti strainer"? Some sailors use the lid of a pot with small holes drilled into it to drain pasta or rinse veggies. It’s a great alternative for a strainer when you have limited space in your galley.

In today’s email:

• Find peace docking with your mate

• Free quiz: Find Your Liveaboard Sailor Archetype

• Recurring seasickness = creative genius

• 25 sailing superstitions you might want to know

• Our sailor’s toast of the week

🌊 Deep Dive: The Psychology of Couples Docking

Docking can be one of the most challenging moments for couples on the water.

You're working as a team under high stakes, with wind, currents, and tight spaces all adding pressure. So, why does docking seem to bring out the worst in otherwise steady duos?

Fight-Flight-Freeze Response: 

Docking triggers an adrenaline rush, which activates the body’s natural “fight, flight, or freeze” response. In a high-stakes moment like this, one partner’s handling the helm, the other’s on deck, and there’s no easy way out.

With “flight” off the table (unless someone’s ready to swim for it) and “freeze” a bad option in a moving boat, well...that just leaves “fight.” And as any sailor knows, the only thing harder than docking is docking while arguing.

Neurodivergence is something to consider: 

Did you know that it's estimated 20% of the global population is considered neurodivergent? While there's no data to say how many sailors are on the spectrum, one could guess the percentage increases.

Dyslexia can make it harder to digest instructions or signals quickly, while ADHD might make it tough to focus amidst the bustle.

And for anyone on the Autism spectrum, sudden changes or unclear instructions can create overwhelm or confusion. Practicing clear, consistent communication helps to ease these moments, keeping tension (and boat speed) low.

Different Communication Styles: 

Docking often brings out differences in how partners communicate, which can feel magnified under pressure. Some people are direct and to-the-point, preferring clear, specific instructions: “Pull the bowline tight, now!”

Others lean more on intuition or general observations, saying things like, “I think we should go slower here.” These approaches can clash, especially when the timing is critical.

Verbal vs. Nonverbal Cues: 

Some people rely heavily on verbal instructions, while others favor nonverbal cues, like hand signals or gestures. If one partner is talking through every step and the other is responding with nods or thumbs-ups, it’s easy to miss critical instructions or misinterpret intentions.

Detail-Oriented vs. Big Picture: 

In high-stress scenarios like docking, one partner might focus on the small details (e.g., “Watch that line, check the fender!”) while the other has a broader perspective, focusing on overall position and speed. These approaches both have value, but when they’re out of sync, they can lead to confusion and, often, frustration.

Processing Time: 

In a high-stakes situation, some people process quickly and make snap decisions, while others need a moment to assess. When one partner is quick to act and the other is still evaluating, it can create tension—especially if there’s no established way to bridge the gap.

What do we do about all of this? 

Practice docking drills together when you’re in a low-stress environment. Switch roles to build empathy for each other’s challenges. And remember, the boat doesn’t care who’s “right.”

What matters is staying calm, safe, and eventually enjoying the docking process.

Docking as a couple is as much about communication and trust as it is about skill. Take a deep breath, laugh off the little mishaps, and keep those lines ready!

📔 Things Worth Knowing

• 🔗 Seasickness & creative genius? There are actually some benefits to having the gene variables that cause recurring seasickness. Read more @ The Helm.

• 🔗 25 sailing superstitions from around the world… just in case. Read more @ The Helm.

• No more soggy wraps! Pre-make wraps with sturdy greens like kale, cabbage, or mature spinach instead of fragile leafy greens so they hold up well in coolers.

• Anchor alarms for the overly vigilant: Use two apps or devices for setting anchor alarms. Redundancy gives peace of mind, especially on windy nights.

• Super short on fresh water?: Use a spray bottle for rinsing dishes or yourself.

⛵️ Boat Tour of the Week

• Explore this full interior walkthrough of Makara, a Celestial 48 with her owners Hillary and Ty of Adventure Adrift. Watch here.

🌎 Around the Web

• Tips on how to reduce plastic waste living on a sailboat | Sailing on Paradise

• Santa Cruz Harbor liveaboards face housing uncertainty after devastating swell

• SAIL Magazine just named their top 10 boats of 2025.

🍻 A Sailor’s Toast

Toasts are a seafaring tradition, passed down through salty winds and rolling tides. Here’s one for the week:

"Here’s to good friends and sturdy boats, steady seas and weathered coats. May our travels be long, our tales be true, and every sunset bring a brighter view!"

Raise a glass, keep the spirit high, and remember home is wherever you drop anchor.

Until next time, friends.

Cheers,

Jessica Depatie